Last sunday I woke up to the terrible news that Paul Walker has passed away. I remember clearly how I saw the tweet of a friend of mine, “RIP Paul Walker” and I thought this is just another bad joke. But then I saw a text message from another friend, telling me the same.
Looking it up, I quickly discovered that this is not a joke, its reality. Paul had died.
It took me a few days until I realized that this isn’t all a bad dream, that this is true. The shock was sitting deep and seeing my friends mourn, crying over a lost idol, a person that meant the world to them made me feel pretty upset as well. I felt sorry for them, sorry for their loss. I wanted to embrace them all, hold them, kiss their cheeks and tell them that everything would be alright. That everything would be fine.
If I could’ve I would’ve lifted their pain from them and bear it for them. But sadly this isn’t possible. Paul is gone, Paul died and we all have to get around this.
I was overwhelmed to see all the people on Twitter, Facebook or wherever, how they thought of him, all the good words they spoke of him. All the tears, all the broken hearts. So many people who lost someone they looked up to.
Paul was a good person, a very good person. Not only was he a great actor, but his friends also described him as “very loving, caring and giving person.” An angel indeed. For him it has been important to help those who had less, who needed help.
Coincidently we’re having a project at school this week. We’re talking about “Death and dying” and about everything that involves it. With those sad news in the back of my head, I wasn’t very thrilled for this week. But now, looking back on the past three days, it’s been good. I learned a lot about how people mourn, how they can react in the various stages of grief – and it’s been interesting to find these things in the behavior of my friends. And I don’t mean that in any kind of creepy way. It helped me to understand them better, to be by their side and help them trough it all.
For me personally it was helpful as well, even though I don’t feel like I was “mourning” – or at least not in the same way as everyone else around me did. For a second I felt guilty, but then I realized: Everyone mourn s in their own kind of way, and that’s very important if you need to cope with any kind of loss. No matter if it’s someone like Paul, or a person way closer to us. We’re not the same, and we don’t mourn the same. We also have all our separate and own beliefs.
I, personally, believe that life is a wheel and that we’re all on a journey on this world. If we die, this journey doesn’t end, it’s just a chapter closed and a new one will begin after that. We’re all gonna come back, we’re all gonna be re-born. And if that’s not how it is…. then I believe that there is heaven. And people like Paul, are going to Heaven and they become Angels. Angels who’re watching over us, who’re looking out for us. The same way he did when he was still on earth with us. Always kind, always friendly, always humble – always loving.
I think there’s something coming after death, what it is… I don’t know. Maybe we’re going up to heaven, going back to god – going home. Maybe we’re born again. I don’t know. But whatever it is, it is nothing bad. It’s a good place, a nice place – a place where we all like to be.
For some of you, who’re reading this, it might sound silly, but it is what I believe in. And I believe, I hope, I KNOW that Paul is in such a place now. I know he is in a better place and I know he is happy. He has lived his life as happy as he could, he did the things he loved and he was with the people he loved. His family. And he died happy, he died doing something that was a part of himself – driving a fast car.
I don’t see any kind of ironic in the fact that he died in a car accident. I think, he died a way he “liked”. In a fast car, speeding down the streets, testing limits. Paul loved fast cars, he loved cars in general. And he was happy that day. He did not die suffering and mad. He died in a happy state of mind.
All these things help me to cope with the fact that he is gone now. That we’ll never see his smile again, hear his voice or look into these bright blue eyes of his. All this is gone.
But what we still have are memories. Each of us has their own memories, feeling and emotions. And that’s how he’s gonna stay with us. In our heart, in our memories – in his movies. We won’t forget him. And maybe…. maybe one day, when our time here on earth is up and we’re gone to take this last journey (or the journey towards the next chapter of our souls)… maybe we’ll stop, look up and see those eyes again. Maybe…hopefully…. we’ll all meet again. This thought, this hope – gives me strength.
So, please, don’t be mad. Don’t be sad. Smile…. smile and remember something beautiful with him, or any other person you loved and lost. Smile and embrace the thoughts, the memories, the feelings. Keep them in your heart and cherish the shared times. It’s so much easier to smile and to love and to remember, than to cry. Life is good. And all this is part of a greater plan, which we might not understand yet, but it’s there. So…have a little faith. Everything’s gonna be all right and we’re all gonna be together again – one day!
Until then…. don’t cry – smile. He wouldn’t want to see you sad. He want’s to see you happy! I’m sure of that!!
You are home now, but we’ll miss you down here.
RIP Paul! We’ll never forget you!